The Golden Rule is a Load of Crock!!!

"Do unto others and you would have others do to you." On the surface it seems like a pretty good idea and, I'll admit, that there are a lot of things for which this holds true.  For instance, I really don't want anyone to haul off and punch me so I don't go around punching people.  Also, I like to be smiled at so I'll try to smile and be friendly to people I meet.  But there are some cases where the "Do unto other..." bit backfires. Let me illuminate with a couple of examples.

When I was a teenager, I hated it when my family made a big deal out of me going to prom or on a date.  I just wanted it to be treated like it was a normal part of life, like dating was what every one did and I didn't want any special notice for it.  So when I had teenagers old enough to date, I tried not to make a big deal of it.  I didn't tease them about their "boy/girlfriend." I didn't go all "ga, ga" over where they'd be going etc. etc.  Well, come to find out, that is exactly what "Belle" wished I would have done.  She hated it that I didn't make a big deal of her first date, or croon over her prom dresses.  So in treating her as I wanted to be treated I actually offended her.  Oops.

Here is another example.  I hate being interrupted.  I hate to be interrupted when I'm reading a book.  I hate to be interrupted when I'm cooking dinner. I hate to be interrupted when I am on the phone.  I think it is very inconsiderate of people to shut off the television or change channels in the middle of something someone else is watching.  So I try very hard not to interrupt people when they are busy.  "Roger" on the other hand, does not mind being interrupted.  He actually thinks that it is nice to let people know you are there and thinking of them right in the middle of what ever they are doing.  Or that sharing what you are reading with the person next to you, also reading, is sharing love.  So we are always at odds...he is being loving and I think he is being inconsiderate.  Another backfire of the golden rule.  But I guess by the Golden Rule...I should respond with love and patience because that is how I would want someone to respond to me if I were doing something seemingly inconsiderate but with good intentions.

So I think the Golden rule should actually read, "Treat others as they would want to be treated."  I know that makes it a little more complicated because it's really hard to know how others want to be treated.  So I'll give you a concession...for perfect strangers and acquaintances the Golden Rule holds true.  But when dealing with the people closest to you, when it's more than a matter of I'll be nice to you because I want you to be nice to me, we should try to treat them the way they would like to be treated.