TMW DNR

"To Many Words, Did Not Read"  That is what "Johnny 5" said to me after reading one of my blog posts. And because of his comment and my perfectionistic tendencies, I stopped writing the blog.  Oh yes he also commented on the fact that it was rambly and hard to follow.

This is just one example of how I let my being a perfectionist rule my life.  Because one person did not find what I had written helpful and made a cutting remark (and lets not forget that this person was a teenager) I just quit.

To a perfectionist it is 100% or nothing.  Getting 99% is the same as failing.  Anything less than perfect is failing.

Can you see how debilitating this can be?  I think we all are afraid of failure to one extent or another.  But this all or nothing attitude really limits what I did.  I still find my thought patterns wandering there and it takes effort to let go.

I have a lot of stories and thoughts on perfection.  Society's idea of perfection. What the scripture "Be ye therefore perfect" actually means and other confessions of a perfectionist.

 I'm hoping that getting them out of my head and onto paper will help me take the next step.  I told my husband this morning that I don't look at life as a great challenge to overcome and each day as a new adventure like he does.  I look at it as a lot of overwhelming things I have to do at which I'm never good enough.  I wake up in the morning and want to hide because everything I do points to my imperfection.

There is a quote I love “Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, “Wow what a ride!”

Someday I hope to be able to say "What a ride" but now I just "get through" one event after another.